How to Become a Better Person in a Relationship

On March 3rd, I began my 27th year of coaching throwing events at my local high school. We had a coach’s meeting on February 26th. The head coach informed us about rule changes for the coming season.

One of the changes is that coaches are not permitted to review videos with their athletes in competition areas. For example, they can’t stand on the track and show their athletes videos of their performance.

Videoing athletes allows throw coaches to view every aspect of their students’ throwing techniques. They can see everything in slow motion if they choose. A coach can usually see only one or two parts of the throw without it because it happens so quickly.

I video my throwers in practice but not in competitions. My philosophy is that thinking too much during track and field meets hinders performance. My saying is, “When you think, you stink.”

Athletes perform best when they trust their muscle memory and don’t worry about the moving parts of their technique. They can think about only one aspect at most. A bad throw follows trying to correct more than that.

Athletes are usually nervous and tense in competitions, making it hard to do their best. I was a better practice thrower than a meet thrower in my Master’s competitions. Most athletes I have coached are. That complicates coaching.

I know my athletes and their technique weaknesses. I know the key limiting factor that hurts their performance the most. It might be not keeping their throwing hand parallel to the ground or sliding their weight to their front foot while throwing the discus. It could be controlling the javelin point on their throws. It is sometimes not blocking during their throws.

During throwing competitions, I urge them to concentrate on the aspect of their throw that, if fixed, would improve their throw the most. One thing only. I never teach them anything new. That happens in practice.

When they master their greatest weakness, I move to the next greatest limiting factor. That is almost always best addressed in practice.

So, what limiting factors prevent us from being a better person in a relationship? What goes wrong in our relationships, the “competitions” of daily life? They often bring out our worst, but the sad truth is that we are not good in “practice” either. Now I am coaching how to become a better person in a relationship.

Consider our innate selfishness and its bitter fruit, good intentions never fulfilled, laziness, inability to do what is best for the long road consistently, lack of self-control, “sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these” (Galatians 5:19b-21a NLT). Our living “technique” needs a makeover.

Most people I coach don’t have the innate abilities to excel at throwing, no matter what they do. We don’t have the innate ability to excel at loving others without a makeover.

My early life was relationship-challenged, as an introvert with few relational skills. Trusting in Jesus as my Lord and Savior when I was 20 was the first step in becoming a better person (John 1:12).

God gradually changed my desires from wanting to be served to desiring to serve others. He released me from the prison of my self-interest to love Him and others. I haven’t mastered it yet, but I am not the person I used to be. I live for others’ benefit more than my own. That is a big improvement over living only for my own.

Depending on the power of the Holy Spirit has enabled me to experience His fruit increasingly—"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23 NLT).

Coaches must make it simple. Here is what I suggest. Trust Jesus as your Lord and Savior and the Holy Spirit to empower you to live for Him and become a better person. See additional free spiritual growth resources for Christians. #discipleshipresources #evangelismresources #christianleadershipresources 

See free spiritual growth resources for Christians at https://www.christiangrowthresources.com.

God has empowered me to write “His Power for Your Weakness—260 Steps Toward Spiritual Strength.” It’s a free evangelistic, devotional, and discipleship eBook. Pastors have used it in Malawi, Mozambique, and Zambia to lead more than 3,357 people to Christ and teach the basics of Christianity to 9,118 people. I invite you to check it out. 

https://www.christiangrowthresources.com/his-power-for-your-weakness  

Photo: Image Creator (microsoft.com)